Tuesday, December 20, 2011

That one time we brought a rat to a party…

The husband and I have made it somewhat of a mission to bring the most random/hilarious white elephant gift to any party we’re invited to at the end of the year.  And let me tell you…they are awesome gifts.

First time, three years ago, the awesome gift was unintentional. 

It was a fondue set.  Booooring right?  I know.  But it was a fondue set from our wedding.  It was a fondue set from our wedding given to us by the husband’s grandmother on his dad’s side.  Follow?  We thought, well we’re never going to use this (who has time for fondue??) so we wrapped it up and lugged it to our first white elephant party as a married couple.  (Really we had been married 5 years at this point…WHY HAD WE NOT BEEN INVITED BEFORE??)

So.  It comes to the moment when someone chooses our gift. Nobody knows who brought what because it’s funnier that way.  My friend who happens to be sitting next to me picks up our gift, unwraps it and eyes the box.  Not believing it really is a fondue set she opens the box and the very first thing inside was a card.


In my hurriedness to wrap the gift and call it good I had completely failed to inspect it to make sure it was free of re-gifting evidence.  THAT CARD.  A card I hadn’t read since the day I got home from my honeymoon and furiously tore into my future kitchen supplies.

Apparently I had opened the fondue set, thought it was mildly interesting, skimmed the card and put it back in the box.  And I had totally forgotten it. Until now.

Everybody listened intently as my friend reads the card and all the while I’m trying to grab it from her in hopes that I think she’s a idiot and didn’t see it in the first place.

It was a sweet, heartfelt card written by Grandma Bingham, congratulating us on our wedding and wishing us all sorts of sweet thoughts for our future. 

And then someone asks (in the midst of an uproar of laughter), “Wait wait wait…is Grandma Bingham still alive?”

Husband and I, blushing immensely hang our heads.  “No.”

More laughter, but in an Oh My Gosh Poor Grandma Bingham and Her Forgotten Fondue Set sort of way.

Shame on us. 

We never lived that down. 

Next year we had to come up with something even more memorable. 

Cue the rat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fancy_rat <---one of those guys.  A cute black and white little creature we bought for nine dollars.  We kept him in his traveling box, gave him some cheese and carrots and lightly wrapped him up.

It was hard to keep a straight face.   After ten or so gifts had been chosen, someone finally chooses Mr. Rat.  And wouldn't you know it was our friend, Elise who has five boys who would LOVE a pet rat. But I saw the dilemma in her face.  She was too sweet to admit it but there was no way in hell she wanted to keep it.  And neither did we.

So late that night she and her husband let him go (after asking PetSmart to take him back!).  Domestic he is no more.  Actually, he’s probably dead.  Or maybe he joined some rat posse or is breeding outside of his class.

This year we realized we had to keep the funny and forget the live animals.

So we brought these:


Undies.  Built for two. Four leg holes. You get the idea.

Moral of this story? There is none.  We just like White Elephant parties.

And fundies.


KickButtMommy said...

And how lucky am I to now own the fundies?

Hays said...

i'll always love that rat story. never gets old. :)

debora said...

Fundies. Disturbing.

Jen said...

Ewww...a live rat! I don't think you've ever told us that story! The fundies are funny--but gross...I don't wanna know!


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