Thursday, September 23, 2010

Parenting

Book

 If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power, 
And more about the power of love.
-From 100 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Teach Values by Diana Loomans.  Reprinted in The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.  

While visiting my sister a couple weeks ago I flipped through a book she had lying on her table.  The No-Cry Discipline Solution.  After reading a few pages I knew I had to buy it for myself.  So I did.  

I received it on Monday and read through it pretty quickly.  I have not gotten angry or raised my voice at my children since I started the book.  Four days to be exact. For me that is huge. HUGE.  Will I get angry at my children ever again? Heck ya.  I'm human after all. 

But this book is not so much about discipline as it is UNDERSTANDING your child.  Put yourself in their shoes.  Treat them with respect.  Lead by example. Teach with compassion. Help them control their emotions and so much more.  

I have implemented all of her tactics this past week and it has changed my life.  Is it easy?  Absolutely not.  But the less frustration, anger or impatience I lose my grip on, the better it is for my children.  Do I still feel all those things?  Oh my gosh yes, but my kids are KIDS.  They are 2.5 and 4.5 and they learn nothing when I react with those feelings.  So I'm working on it.  A lot.

And because of this book I have learned that my little Diva is so utterly emotionally exhausting.  I knew it before but my anger got in the way of really delving into figuring out what she needed, when she needed it, why she's upset, how to calm her down, discipline effectively, talk through emotions, get her attention, help her obey my directions, use her words and sooooOOOooo much more.  But anger or frustration truly hindered her ability to LEARN.  And because this week I've totally and completely devoted myself to those tactics, I am wiped.out.

Parenting is the hardest job on the planet.  No joke.  


TELL ME ABOUT IT ®


By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Carolyn:
Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

 Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them. Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.

-Carolyn

AMEN. 

Saturday, September 18, 2010

A thousand words

I take a TON of pictures.  And I love it.  It's become my new favorite hobby.   The information that is floating around out there about digital photography is almost mind boggling.  It's completely overwhelming but I am in love with learning.  I don't have plans to become a "professional" or to start up my own business or anything of that nature because I have absolutely no CLUE what I am doing.  I just love, love to take pictures

 Today I asked Munchkin to show me a variety of faces and when I said Show me a mommy face, this is what she gave me:


Photobucket



I even love the dirt under her nails and her poor, grotesque middle finger (which I'm pretty sure is on the mend.)
Photobucket


And today I caught that glint; that mischievous twinkle that never seems to dissolve. 
 Photobucket 

Capturing these moments are worth way more than a thousand words.  They are 100% priceless.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Hobo


Hobo dinners are the easiest thing in life.  And no clean up.  That's impressive.
You've probably made them before, or maybe you have forgotten about them so here I am bringing them to the front of your brains.

The best thing about these is you can change them up to utilize whatever ingredients you have on hand.

I happened to have carrots, frozen chicken tenders and red potatoes.  

I layer the dinners according to which ingredients cook the slowest.  So potatoes, then carrots and then the chicken.  Like so:

Photobucket

First though, I spray the foil with some oil so the food doesn't stick to it when it cooks.  

After layering I sprinkle on some:

Garlic Powder
Onion Powder
Lemon pepper
Salt
and slice some butter on top.  Mmm...butter.

Double wrap your dinners.

After swaddling those babies I fire up the grill. (or oven if you prefer)   Then I shut the lid and forget about them.  No seriously, tonight I forgot about them.  Good thing my propane ran out and my little children (not the human ones) just sat there and steamed until I came to my senses.  But ideally you want to take them off when the carrots and potatoes are tender.  Check them after fifteen minutes or so. 

Photobucket

I didn't take a picture after they were cooked.  I guess we were hungry.  But they were gooood.  And you can use any spices you want.  Did I mention there is no clean up? Awe.some.  Hubby likes to eat them with BBQ sauce but I can't stand BBQ sauce so I eat them as is.  So there. 

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remembering

Patriotism Pictures, Images and Photos*pic grabbed from photobucket*

I remember.....nine years ago I was a EDIT:Senior (my brain is fried I guess, I wasn't a junior) and driving from seminary to school.  I got a call (from my then-boyfriend) and he said, "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center."   I guess I had been living in a bubble because not only was I not sure exactly where the World Trade Center was but the fact that a plane had crashed into it meant little to me. I cringe at my naivety and stupidity. 

I remember...I walked into my first period which ironically was a government class and we sat there and watched the twin towers burn to the ground.  In every class that day we watched, and stared and witnessed. I remember my teachers being speechless, somber and tearful.

I remember...opening the newspaper the next day and plastered on the front page was a picture of people leaping to their death out of 50 story windows.  I was bewildered.  I was horrified.  I was so, so sad for those people.  

I remember...driving around town and it was like a sea of American Flags.  It was uplifting and encouraging.  It felt good to know that all across the country we were praying and hoping for the same things.

I remember... last year on the anniversary I was watching raw footage from a local New Yorker who happened to be filming-from her apartment- the first tower right as another plane hit the second tower.  There was no dramatic music or creative editing, just the loudest most terrifying scream I had ever heard.  And I burst into tears.  Up until that point watching footage had never had that effect on me.  I don't know what it was exactly but I could just feel her terror.

And today I remember that life is short.  So many things that we think are vital to our existence are in fact useless to our salvation.  I will remember that family is absolutely the most important aspect of our earthly lives and because of that fact Satan works with a pertinacious and unabated force to destroy them.   We cannot just sit on our hands and watch the destruction, we have to actively fight against him.  

“But dark as this hour, there is shining through the heavy overcast of fear and anger the solemn and wonderful image of the Son of God, the Savior of the world, the Prince of Peace, the Exemplar of universal love, and it is to Him that we look in these circumstances.  It was He who gave His life that all might enjoy eternal life.”    -President Hinckley

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Tinkerbell Tuesday

Miss Tink's older sis tumbles off her bike after a turn, 
Tink runs over and expresses concern!
Photobucket


Tink then showed off her own bike riding skills 
(even though her short legs can't reach the wheels!)
Photobucket



She takes off her shoes
Goes for a cruise
And soon has feet as black as a grill
Photobucket Photobucket



Mommy says, "Hey Tink I need a picture of your cute profile!"
She knows she'll miss it after awhile.
Photobucket



Tinkerbell continues to play
all the live long day
but pauses to show off an adorable SMILE
Photobucket

Monday, September 6, 2010

14er

What the heck is a14er?  In mountaineering terminology in the United States, a fourteener is a mountain that exceeds 14,000 feet (4,267.2 m) above mean sea level. The importance of fourteeners is greatest in Colorado, which has the majority of such peaks in North America. ...(from wikipedia)
And guess what?  I climbed one!  Maybe that doesn't seem like a huge deal to a lot of people but to me it kinda was.  It was pretty difficult and I was very nervous about the altitude seeing as I come from a near sea level valley.


Photobucket
 Snapped this pic of Quandary Peak -14,271 ft. Hiked all the way to the tipppity top!


I was given advice to pop some Ibuprofen before we headed up and I'm sure it made all the difference.  Toward the top I felt a little pressure in my head but nothing too uncomfortable.  And how could I think about my head when I had a view like this:

Photobucket


Photobucket

At the top is was freezing.  And windy. Thankfully my husband knew about my propensity to under pack for cold weather and stuffed one of his jackets into the camel back I borrowed from him.  What would I do without that guy?


 Photobucket

My summit was a little less romantic than I'd imagined.  I followed the orders of my dear husband to hydrate hydrate hydrate a little too well and I had to pee like you would not believe. Being a woman can be really inconvenient.  Dozens of people hiked the peak that day and we were surrounded by fellow climbers.  So I stayed long enough to shovel a sandwich into my mouth, snap a couple pictures and marvel at the beauty of God's creations.  Then I got the heck outta there.  We were well above tree line and with every step down the boulders and rocks I wanted.to.die.  I kept scanning around the trail trying to find a place to pop a squat.  Hmmm...not over there, unless I want to tumble down the mountain and die.  Nope, not over there unless I want to moon that father and son duo.  Not down there either; rocks too sharp. 

Finally I found a crevice off the trail and only hikers coming down could figure out what I was doing but at that point I could not have cared less.  I even shouted to a couple guys taking their sweet time, Hey uh I'm just trying to find a place to pee over here! To which they responded, Oh uh, we'll give you some space.  Thanks guys.

Full bladder aside, It was a gorgeous day filled with breathtaking scenery.  There is nothing like the feeling of being far, far away from everything. 
Photobucket

LW

Related Posts with Thumbnails