Comedienne

This morning I was sitting in Diva's bedroom calling her name and trying to get her to get dressed. Honestly sometimes I wish it were socially acceptable to let her walk around naked because clothes are a battle. That's besides the point.

So today I'm sitting there, "Honey please come get dressed. I need you to come get dressed. We need to go soon."

Finally she walks in leans down and puts her hands on her knees like she's about to scold a small child and says,

"Do you need attention?"

It was so out of left field that I just laughed and laughed. Moments like that make the difficult ones much more bearable.

Boobaholic

Lil' Sis is 14 months old today! Time flies!

She is still nursing too and while I don't think 14 months is too old (AT ALL) to still be nursing I decided that *I* would like to be done.

It's a problem though. I think she's addicted. Just when I think I've weaned her down to once in the mornings she gets all whiny on me and wants more. I admit that sometimes I think it's cute and/or amusing when she tries to lift my shirt up and find the goods. Most of the time I can distract her with something else but if she's extra whiny or she hurts herself then nursing is the perfect remedy. It's so easy! *Sigh* I'm just in a vicious cycle I suppose.

Oh and nursing a 14 month old is not so calming and quiet as say nursing a 2 month old is. It turns into an acrobatic session. "Hey mommy look I can stand on my head while holding my toes AND nurse at the same time-aren't I so talented?" uhh....no.

I'm not too worked up about it. I'll be going on a trip without her in August and she MUST be weaned by then. I guess I have some time.

The greatest kind of fun...

...is the naked kind of fun. Wait....er...I mean..uh...when you're a kid.

Nee Nee got Diva this play sink. It.is.awesome. Who needs a pool?


Nakedness always follows after playing in the sink for a few minutes.


Seriously, who needs clothes?



Fully clothed but equally adorable.

A few of my favorite things

Sister Love

Belly Buttons



Toddler knees and the bruises that accompany them.

I wasn't born yesterday

I love an opportunity to humiliate someone when they have done something stupid. And illegal.

Today at our community pool a young couple was making out. It was borderline obscene. No biggie, what do I care? I was by myself, enjoying alone time for a Mother's Day present. It's a large pool with a spa tucked in the back. However I had full view of the spa. No one else was at the pool.

The couple decides to come up for air (no they weren't underwater) and they look right at me to see if I'm looking at them. Ah but I have sunglasses on and I'm "reading" a book. So they stupidly think they have the clear to sneak in the spa and.....uh....*ahem*....well....you know. They got down to business. I was seriously in shock. It was 1 freakin o'clock in the afternoon on a SATURDAY! I mean c'mon I'm not a fool, I know people probably do that stuff all the time at public pools but at least they have the presence of mind to wait until DARK.

So they uh..."finish" and walk over to get their stuff which happens to be right next to me. I wasn't about to let them get away scott free.

Me: "So is it cool if I call the cops on you guys? "
Gross Guy: "Wha ...wh...what are you talking about?"
Me: "You know what you were doing.."
Gross Guy:" What? We can't make out?"
Me:" I'm not an idiot! You did way more than just make out."
GG:" I have no idea what you're talking about."
Me: "It's illegal not to mention disgusting. This is a public place where I take my KIDS."
Gross Guy continues to deny his lewd conduct. I continue to call him out. They leave. The Gross Girl never says a word which absolutely proves he was lying. If someone were to accuse me of doing something like that and I was innocent, I would jump in and vehemently deny any wrong doing.

I'm not going in that spa ever ever again.

Funny for the day

I received this forward from my husband. I actually can't stand forwards and my hubby knows this so I figured it was worth it. It was and I laughed so hard just picturing the scenario that I had to share:

Who's your Best Friend?

Best friend test: This really works ...! If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of a car for an hour. When you open the trunk, which one is happier to see you??

Edible freckles

Diva: "Wook mommy...it's another mole! See...WOOK!"

Me:" What? Really, you found another mole? Let me see!" (yes I happen to think her moles are adorable, she actually only has one so far.)

Diva, upon further investigation exclaims: "Oh wait no it's just chocwet." *licks her fingers*

Priceless

Save me

Dear Hubby:

I know it's your day off. I know you're out golfing right now and I'm glad you're having fun and relaxing. You deserve it. You never golf so today is very rare.

But please, come save me. Diva clogged the toilet. I tried using our crap-of-a-plunger to unclog it. I thought it was a success until I heard gurgling coming from the bathtub. Diva's bath toys are now taking a poop/old toilet paper/urine bath. The smell is disgusting. Lil' Sis wanted to play in it. I put her in her crib.

Don't worry I called Roto-Rooter.

Now I must go and don my bathroom cleaning gloves to rescue the toys and sterilize them.

Love you,
Wifey