Today we experienced a mild earthquake. Nothing new for here I suppose but one doesn't really get used to these things. As soon as that shaking starts your heart starts racing and your brain goes into hyper drive. All coherent, logical thoughts sort of dissolve into one single thought process; surviving. I suppose that can sound pretty dramatic but for me it's true. I've been in a few major earthquakes, the most recent was in 1994. I was 10 years old and it was a pretty traumatic experience. However experiencing an earthquake these days is far, far different. Why? Because I'm a mother.
I was sitting on the couch watching some Sesame Street with my 2 year-old and my 4 month- old. As soon as I felt those vibrations I grabbed onto them and the only thing going through my head was, "How will I protect these girls if it gets worse?" The thought of something ever happening to my two, sweet, beautiful daughters sends me into a panic. Life without them would become pointless.
Something happens to a woman the minute she becomes a mother. She is no longer responsible for just herself. She becomes someone who is selfless, giving and sacrificing, all for a person whom she's known for such a short amount of time. I don't know of one mother who would not give her life for her children. A mother's life revolves around making sure the needs of her children are met before any others'.
The love I feel for my two girls is eternal. It knows no boundaries and it is unconditional. I never knew feelings like this existed until I became their mother. Of course, there are days where the last thing I want to be is a mommy but those days are minimal and the feelings are fleeting.
I would give my life in one heartbeat for the lives of my children. I would rather them experience their life than to live mine on this earth without them. It's selfish, in a way. It's a dilemma I hope to never face. I would never want them to be without their mother.
It's amazing to think that our Heavenly Father loves us more than we can imagine. How can someone love another person MORE than a mother loves her children? I think Heavenly Father gave us children so that we could have a mere sample of the kind of love he feels for us. Our Savior proved his love to us in the ultimate way. Mothers would die for their children but the Savior died for people who hated him, people who refuse to acknowledge him, people who curse him, people who don't even know who he is. He died for people who mocked Him, beat Him and for people who, while on this earth, will never believe in Him. Why? Why would he do this? Because he knows us. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our hearts, our desires, our heartaches, our trials, our thoughts and He knows why we even chose to come to this earth in the first place. He knows that when all is said and done we will remember Him. We will remember his sacrifice and we will remember our eternal decisions to receive a body and experience life.
I hope to never see my children go through terrible experiences but I know it's inevitable. The only thing I can do is to be there for them. Help them. Our Heavenly Father feels the same way. He does not like to see His children hurt but He is always there for us. We can talk to Him at any time of the day and He will listen. I'm grateful, so grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel and for Prayer. I cannot live without these things.
And everyday I get on my knees and thank my Heavenly Father for two beautiful girls who can make me laugh, smile, cry and scream all in the same minute. I am grateful for their health and for coming to our family to ultimately make my life more meaningful and full of a lot more love and appreciation.
