Monday, May 12, 2008

Tales of DUB and Blankie

*This post is mostly just musings of a perplexed parent but I know other parents will empathize with me.*

Meet *DUB. Born at Target sometime ago she was purchased by my mother in-law and consequently stole the heart of an unsuspecting 19 month old. Unfortunately she has taken up permanent residence in our home for the past 5 months.

At first she looks like a normal baby doll. No no my friends, she is something else. My little toddler decided to tattoo her prized possession with a lovely green, permanent marker.

Not only that, she was also born with a sad, ugly tuft of hair growing out the top of her head like a spout of water. Future rocker? Or perhaps, maybe, she has high hopes of becoming a Samurai.
Whatever the reason we always receive strange looks when DUB is brought out in public (which, if I can help it, is RARELY.)

We have lovingly dubbed (har har) this baby doll, DUB. Dang. Ugly. Baby. Even Diva walks around saying, "Find baby DUB. Where baby DUB?" (Yes we have tried hiding it from her on many occasion.) She has been in the bath so many times that I think her insides are starting to mold, thus adding to her DUBiness.

So with high hopes I had Diva go to Target with Nee Nee, the perpetrator who brought DUB into our lives. Diva picked out and my mother in-law bought this beautiful, normal, healthy looking baby doll.

And do you THINK Diva loves her as much as DUB? NO! Of course not. What was I thinking??? This poor baby has been cast aside. Presently she is lying face down in the corner of my closet.

This brings me to another frustration. As a youngster Diva became attached to one of her many blankets she received as a newborn. It also happened to be the MOST EXPENSIVE, and most difficult to find blanket. (For a reasonable price!) After being dragged through mud, stores, food and several airports and after washing it thousands of times it has become a sad, tattered rag. So I decided to buy a brand new one......the EXACT one, thinking she won't know the difference. I guess I take my daughter for a dunce because she wanted nothing to do with new, beautiful, fluffy pink blankie.

So I have resigned to the fact that I must live with these very hideous but extremely loved "gifts." She is currently napping with the both of them.

*DUB is the butt of many jokes in my family. My brother likes to say, "Someone turn on the oven!" When we walk into my parents' house. He believes DUB is possessed and well, I kind of agree with him.


debora said...

I also agree that DUB has a certain demonic glint in her frozen stare. If Cadence ever leaves DUB over here again I am going to bring her back to you asap. That doll needs to stay in the hands of the only person in the world who loves it.
I think Tamara will be pleased that her blanket gift has been loved to shreds.

Lindsay said...

Ha're dang funny, Car Car. As this page was loading, I thought, yikes, those look like some graphic pics.

About the blanket--I guess it all comes full circle, huh. Cadence's blanket looks a lot better than your sad piece of string you were constantly rubbing all over your nose and leaving in little, pathetic pile in random places. Do you still have that thing?

That's just great that Cadence calls her DUB as well. Hilarious.

AHEM said...

poor little DUB just needs some love.

come on carly the mold can't be that bad. and the's hardly noticeable. it's not her fault she was only given hair in one spot on top.

Bob C said...

Dub is the Bride of Chuckie.

Ryan said...

Maybe DUB will look better if Cadence shaves her hair off.

debora said...

Ryan we mustn't encourage Cadence to cut, shave, or remove anyone's hair. I had enough of that with Carly chopping off Jasmine's(barbie doll) hair and making Kelli cry and then Kelli wacking her own hair off five or six times.
Oh yeah, Carly also gave Scotty-boy a very interesting haircut when he was a defenseless and compliant two year old.

Carly said...

ha ha...I remember coaxing him into the bathroom and snipping chunks off the top of his hair. Good times. He was so obliging.

Ryan said...

Where are the pictures? Those would be good to post. Was Scotty-boy in a wife beater?

Lund Family said...

That has got to be the funniest post i have read in a long time. I have to agree that that doll kind of freaks me out. Hopefully one day she will grow out of it

Lindsay said...

Carly, didn't you also feed Scotty big chunks of unsweetened chocolate AND cover him in flour from head to toe? Is this what Maya has to look forward to?


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