Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What's in a name?

I wish someone would have told me that parenting would include a lot of improvisation and quick-thinking, two skills in which I am not very adept.

Par exemple:

Diva inquires daily about names. I could be speaking to the internet (or gas company or electric or water-yeah MOVING SUCKS) lady on the phone and she will buzz incessantly in my free ear, "What's her name? What's her name? What's her name?" and I am never allowed to say:

"I don't know."

Those three words are never, under any circumstance to be uttered in her presence.

So without those banned words to fall back on I have to think FAST. I manage to finish my conversation on the phone but all the while she is STILL.ASKING. I say things like, "Um....uh...John?" Wait, crap, that's a guy's name. "Jackie?" Shoot, she already knows a Jackie (I am also not allowed to repeat a name of someone she knows because according to soon-to-be four year-olds there are no duplicates.)

"Um...Cheryl!" Success!

So in dozens of similar scenarios I have come up with many names.

Sebastian (I said this name and she immediately demanded a different one because there was no possible way I was speaking to a tiny red crab with a Jamaican accent)


In situations like these I often think of this post and then I shudder a little. Still on the lookout for that safe-haven.


Melissa said...

I was laughing when I read this post. When I linked to the other post, I ROARED hysterically. My abs hurt! She is something else! Love her! :)

Diana said...

I love being Nee Nees because I do not get any of her nonsense. Sorry but she is such a cutie for me. Maybe it is because I give her whatever she wants!!!!!! JK

Lindsay said...

You describe it so well. I love it. I think it gets a little better at 4.

Rob said...

What if you just asked everyone. Tell them your 4 year old must know everyone's name.

Lorianne said...

I go through the same thing with my girl. What is it with kids and needing to know names, and not accepting "I don't know." I'll have to use your idea and steal names from TV shows and books. :)


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