I wish someone would have told me that parenting would include a lot of improvisation and quick-thinking, two skills in which I am not very adept.
Diva inquires daily about names. I could be speaking to the internet (or gas company or electric or water-yeah MOVING SUCKS) lady on the phone and she will buzz incessantly in my free ear, "What's her name? What's her name? What's her name?" and I am never allowed to say:
"I don't know."
Those three words are never, under any circumstance to be uttered in her presence.
So without those banned words to fall back on I have to think FAST. I manage to finish my conversation on the phone but all the while she is STILL.ASKING. I say things like, "Um....uh...John?" Wait, crap, that's a guy's name. "Jackie?" Shoot, she already knows a Jackie (I am also not allowed to repeat a name of someone she knows because according to soon-to-be four year-olds there are no duplicates.)
So in dozens of similar scenarios I have come up with many names.
Sebastian (I said this name and she immediately demanded a different one because there was no possible way I was speaking to a tiny red crab with a Jamaican accent)
In situations like these I often think of this post and then I shudder a little. Still on the lookout for that safe-haven.