The past couple weeks have been very rough. Diva, as much as I love her, has been wearing me down. There is a
reason her nickname is Diva. Now I know a lot of 3 year-olds can be demanding but I feel like she is on the extreme end of the spectrum. I spend most of my days battling with her, being frustrated and/or angry with her. It's exhausting to say the least. I don't want to be like that.
Every morning I try my absolutely hardest to put on my best smile and greet her with utmost enthusiasm and love. Nine times out of ten she responds with a growl or shouting accompanied with her perfected scowl. Breakfast is usually shouts of, "No oatmeal...CHEERCHOS! GIMME IT RIGHT NOW!" Lunch and dinner are no better.
When Lil' Sis' is asleep I sit down with her and give her suggestions on what we should do:
"Would you like me to read you stories?"
"NO!"
"Do you want to paint?"
"NO!"
"Do you want to draw?"
"NO!"
and so on.
I seriously ask myself, "Why is she so angry all the time? I must be a terrible mother. What have I done wrong?"
Then I leave her with other people and I hear how polite and sweet she was. Really? Great. That makes me feel worse.
The last week especially I just felt emotionally drained. I know Diva is exhausted too and it greatly contributes to her attitude. Simple answer? She needs more sleep. Oh but did I mention the girl abhors bedtime? Ya. Like so much so that come 8 pm she magically turns into a sweet, cute little girl. The nicer she is, the later she can stay up. I like my 8 o'clock Diva. It's a side of her that I rarely get to see during the day.
So, as not to sound like a Debbie Downer this post has a "happy ending." After much prayer and changing a few things here and there, Diva has been acting a little better. Not a complete transformation but better. I know that dwelling on the negative will get me nowhere. Focusing on the positive things is what makes life "livable" and more enjoyable.
Last night she was completely overcome with excitement at the thought of sleeping in a tent with Daddy. It warmed my heart.
She's growing up so fast. It freaks me out a little.
Today she came to me, hugged me tight and said, "I love you Mommy."
Totally worth it.